A few days ago I was a guest on Talkbox, a talk show on Beijing radio’s bilingual station AM774. Chloe (the host), Holly (the cohost), and I covered a lot of ground…from the struggles facing Chinese and American 20somethings, to finding your calling, to Forest Gump!
Click here to listen: May 19th Talkbox Radio Show
**When you visit the web page, look to the box on the right side. Scroll through the shows and click on the May 19th, 2011 episode titled “Confusion to Clarity.” Just let me know if you have any trouble tuning in.
On Monday, I gave a presentation called Overcoming the Quarterlife Crisis. The quarterlife crisis is the period of time in our 20s, and often 30s, during which we feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed by the question: “What do you want to do with your life?” We may look around at our peers and feel that we just don’t measure up. Perhaps you are in the midst of your own struggles, or know someone who is.
I take seriously the emotional stress of the quarterlife crisis, especially after having lived through it myself. I also know its powerfully transformative effects. The transformation occurs when we are willing to be patient with the process, dig deeply within ourselves for answers, and make step-by-step choices based on our true desires.
The workshop was, for me, uplifting. I learned a great deal from the participants and felt deeply inspired by their open minds and hearts. For a sample of the evening, see below for 10 tips I discussed for getting through this challenging life phase. Read more…
Last night, my husband and I were reading before bed. I noticed him set down Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and sink deep into concentration. The passages had visibly affected him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked.
“I’m thinking about quieting my mind,” he said.
A pause. Then his oxymoron clicked, and we started to laugh. Thinking about quieting the mind. How relatable! The busy nature of mind is such that we often spend more time trying to tame it than actually doing so.
I know this from personal experience. I’ve been meditating daily for a decade yet still find myself swept down the wild rapids of thought. But practice does help. Meditation is like exercise. The more you do it, the more natural it gets. Read more…
The other morning, I awoke feeling uneasy. I’d just emerged from a dream in which I was taunted for being less successful than someone else. The “taunters” reveled in comparing me negatively to others. I kept trying to escape by darting to a bright, childlike playland, but couldn’t get away.
Upon reflection, I saw that each aspect of my dream represented a part of myself. The person more accomplished than me symbolized an idealized image of success. The taunters were my choir of inner critics who push me to improve through harsh assessments. (Yep, still a recovering perfectionist!) The playland was the safe haven I seek—where I’m free to be myself, no upgrades needed.
Writing Confusion to Clarity taught me that I'm not the only 20something who occasionally compares myself to others. Far from it. Read more…
Happy New Year! I want to let you know about a radio interview I did a couple of weeks ago, which is now available online. The program is called “Beyond 50 Radio” and is based in Portland, Oregon. On the call was Daniel Davis, the show’s host, as well as Devin Decuna, the co-host and college intern.
We discussed some of the common characteristics and challenges of Generation Y, such as the myriad choices we face, the “quarterlife crisis,” and the tough job market. I also offered stories and tips for 20somethings and their Baby Boomer parents. My hope is that you hear something useful for yourself or someone you know. Please feel free to share your own thoughts too.
Click Here to listen.
For me, December is the most reflective month of the year. There’s just something powerful about the lacing together of endings and beginnings. Last year at this time Dan and I lived in coastal California. (I can still hear the sea lions barking!) On New Year’s Eve we created what will hopefully become a yearly ritual.
We grabbed pencils and notebooks, lit tea candles, and posed three questions to ourselves and each other. What are you most grateful for this year? What do you want to leave behind? What do you wish to invoke in the New Year? Then we dropped into our sagging couch and quietly scribbled our thoughts. Reflections complete, we read aloud to one another. Read more…
When I woke up this morning, my muscles ached all over. Instantly I flashed back to yesterday's intense running and weightlifting workout. But even though my body ached, I felt happy. These physical sensations were reminders of one of my greatest passions: running.
I hobbled to the living room and sat, heavy, watching Beijing awaken in the early morning light. As I sank into the couch, my mind drifted past running to other things that are, for me, bottomless wells of fascination and delight. One by one these little joys danced before my eyes. They baited me with life's simple pleasures – to which I can always return (if only in my mind) for inspiration.
Here’s a small sample of my personal passions: Read more…
The subject of internal guidance is exciting to me. I believe that each of us has personal access to wisdom that can assist us in every area of life – from the big questions of love and work to the most mundane matters such as what route to take coming home. There are many names for this intuitive source, and for practical purposes, I generally refer to it as our inner voice.
Below is a link to an excerpt from Confusion to Clarity. It’s titled "Hearing Your Inner Voice," and the tips are geared toward finding your calling. This excerpt was published on the website Spiritual Dialogues Forum, which is “dedicated to the universal search for spiritual truth.”
Click here to read – and enjoy!
A comment on my previous blog drew my attention to an article published last week in the New York Times Magazine, titled “What Is It About 20-Somethings?” The article featured two authors whose books were very helpful as I was researching my own: Dr. Jeffrey Arnett and Christine Hassler. Dr. Arnett coined the term emerging adulthood, which characterizes the stage of identity exploration, transition, and possibility that is common among twentysomethings.
The article centered on the debate over whether or not emerging adulthood is a true, new life stage—or if it is just a passing phase due to cultural and economic forces, and one that only the privileged experience. Although the debate isn’t settled, I found the article to be quite insightful. It painted a nuanced portrait of twentysomethings, addressing factors such as the economy, psychological and brain development, and generational and cultural comparisons. Read more…
Hi all! I apologize for my blogging hiatus but plan to hop back in the saddle soon.
I want to take a moment to introduce you to a wonderful writer and assistant professor of counseling, Dr. Cyndi Briggs. Cyndi coauthored the textbook Women, Girls, and Addiction: Celebrating the Feminine in Counseling Treatment and Recovery. She also writes a fantastic blog called The Sophia Project, which is all about expressing our greatness and living our dreams.
I'm honored to be included in a recent post. Click here to read. Thanks, Cyndi!
