On Monday, I gave a presentation called Overcoming the Quarterlife Crisis. The quarterlife crisis is the period of time in our 20s, and often 30s, during which we feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed by the question: “What do you want to do with your life?” We may look around at our peers and feel that we just don’t measure up. Perhaps you are in the midst of your own struggles, or know someone who is.
I take seriously the emotional stress of the quarterlife crisis, especially after having lived through it myself. I also know its powerfully transformative effects. The transformation occurs when we are willing to be patient with the process, dig deeply within ourselves for answers, and make step-by-step choices based on our true desires.
The workshop was, for me, uplifting. I learned a great deal from the participants and felt deeply inspired by their open minds and hearts. For a sample of the evening, see below for 10 tips I discussed for getting through this challenging life phase. Read more…
Last night, my husband and I were reading before bed. I noticed him set down Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and sink deep into concentration. The passages had visibly affected him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked.
“I’m thinking about quieting my mind,” he said.
A pause. Then his oxymoron clicked, and we started to laugh. Thinking about quieting the mind. How relatable! The busy nature of mind is such that we often spend more time trying to tame it than actually doing so.
I know this from personal experience. I’ve been meditating daily for a decade yet still find myself swept down the wild rapids of thought. But practice does help. Meditation is like exercise. The more you do it, the more natural it gets. Read more…
The other morning, I awoke feeling uneasy. I’d just emerged from a dream in which I was taunted for being less successful than someone else. The “taunters” reveled in comparing me negatively to others. I kept trying to escape by darting to a bright, childlike playland, but couldn’t get away.
Upon reflection, I saw that each aspect of my dream represented a part of myself. The person more accomplished than me symbolized an idealized image of success. The taunters were my choir of inner critics who push me to improve through harsh assessments. (Yep, still a recovering perfectionist!) The playland was the safe haven I seek—where I’m free to be myself, no upgrades needed.
Writing Confusion to Clarity taught me that I'm not the only 20something who occasionally compares myself to others. Far from it. Read more…
Last weekend I was a guest speaker for a group of young Chinese women. They’re preparing to apply to college, and their leader—an exceptional woman—asked me to help inspire their growth in the interim.
The topic of the workshop was “Thinking Outside the Box.” One objective was to explore activities the girls could pursue to boost their personal development and college apps. We dug into interests that appeared unrelated (i.e. science and music), and looked for ways to combine them in unique projects. We pulled back the curtain on perceived obstacles, reasons why we think something is not possible, and brainstormed alternate routes to success. Read more…
Next morning’s adventure led us east on a bullet train to the 4,000-year-old city of Luoyang, in Henan Province. It was a mass of humanity. A friendly Kentucky Fried Chicken employee we met helped us understand the true scale of China’s cities. He told us about his “small” hometown—of only four million people! Luoyang’s traffic was bonkers. One of our drivers changed lanes by swerving across the dividing line into oncoming cars.
In Luoyang we had another animated twentysomething guide. Dong Dong was a walking encyclopedia. He taught us about everything from the I Ching to the sociological effects of China’s one-child policy. We drove to Longmen Grottoes, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. These are Buddhist caves into which 1,300-1,500-year-old statues are carved. I felt powerful energy emanating from the stones, amplified by the beautiful river flowing alongside them. Read more…
China is developing at lightning speed. The never-ending cranes, construction sites, and new cars on the road are but a few symbols of its growth. Yet one of the most compelling aspects of living here is the ever-present connection to history. I mean old history.
Hosting friends in town last week was the perfect opportunity to visit Xi’an, in Shaanxi Province. Xi’an was once part of the Silk Road trade route. Today people flock there for college and to work in industries such as machinery, electronics, textiles, and national defense. Its prime tourist attraction is the Terracotta Warriors. Read more…
Beijing’s leading English bookstore, The Bookworm, is in the midst of its spring literary festival. Author events are among my biggest pleasures in life. I bought a bunch of tickets and am learning a ton.
Today I saw former Wall Street Journal correspondent, Leslie T. Chang, speak about her book Factory Girls: From Village to City in a Changing China. Named one of the New York Times 100 Notable Books of 2008, Factory Girls documents the true stories of young women who leave home to work in China’s factories.
Leslie’s goal was not only to expose the injustices facing factory workers, but to paint an emotional, human portrait of how they adapt to their starkly new realities. I was deeply impressed by her intelligence, compassion, and grounded demeanor. She spoke of migration as a combination of terror and liberation, loneliness and adventure. She also touched on the workers’ underlying search for meaning—something we all share.
Full disclosure: I haven’t read the book, but plan to after seeing Leslie speak. If you’re interested in China’s trajectory, you might enjoy checking it out as well.
I love this passage by David Ault. When I read his words, they put my life into perspective. They help me take a step back from my personal struggles, and see the gifts that are bombarding me from every angle. Today I wanted to share with you:
In Someone Else’s Eyes
In someone else’s belief, you are rich and free.
In someone else’s eyes you are smart, capable and daring.
In someone else’s world of existence you have it all.
In someone else’s level of experience you have already reached their understanding of nirvana.
Whatever your story is, you are as blessed as you are willing to recognize you are.
~David Ault
Welcome Year of the Rabbit! February 2nd marked the highly anticipated lunar New Year’s Eve here in China. I awoke to the boom of fireworks (which I still hear outside my window, days later, as I type these words). I jumped out of bed feeling excited. Dan and I had been invited to share a traditional celebration that evening with the family of his wonderful colleague, Shao Jun.
We headed out late morning in search of gifts for Shao Jun’s family. The quiet streets surrounding our apartment gave the sense of being in a small town instead of in China’s capital. Masses of Beijingers had already left the city to celebrate the holiday with family in their hometowns. Read more…
Happy New Year! I want to let you know about a radio interview I did a couple of weeks ago, which is now available online. The program is called “Beyond 50 Radio” and is based in Portland, Oregon. On the call was Daniel Davis, the show’s host, as well as Devin Decuna, the co-host and college intern.
We discussed some of the common characteristics and challenges of Generation Y, such as the myriad choices we face, the “quarterlife crisis,” and the tough job market. I also offered stories and tips for 20somethings and their Baby Boomer parents. My hope is that you hear something useful for yourself or someone you know. Please feel free to share your own thoughts too.
Click Here to listen.
