A comment on my previous blog drew my attention to an article published last week in the New York Times Magazine, titled “What Is It About 20-Somethings?” The article featured two authors whose books were very helpful as I was researching my own: Dr. Jeffrey Arnett and Christine Hassler. Dr. Arnett coined the term emerging adulthood, which characterizes the stage of identity exploration, transition, and possibility that is common among twentysomethings.
The article centered on the debate over whether or not emerging adulthood is a true, new life stage—or if it is just a passing phase due to cultural and economic forces, and one that only the privileged experience. Although the debate isn’t settled, I found the article to be quite insightful. It painted a nuanced portrait of twentysomethings, addressing factors such as the economy, psychological and brain development, and generational and cultural comparisons. Read more…
It’s official. I’m falling in love again. This time, with China. This is such a captivating country that I feel energized just by being here. Of course, there have been adjustments. After Dan’s cough passed, I got sick as my body struggled to adjust to the new environment. But we’re both riding the wellness train now and have been meeting new friends, exploring the city, and eating a whole lot.
When it comes to food, Beijing is the gift that keeps on giving. You can find just about anything here, from every corner of the world, and often for a terrific price. One night we had a five-course meal (including drinks and dessert) for 70RMB, or $10.30. Naturally we’ve been eating at lots of Chinese restaurants—which can be rambunctious. The dishes are served in large family style portions and are heavy and filling. Usually when I walk out the door I’m so full I can’t imagine ever needing to eat again. And although chopsticks and I don’t always get along, we’re moving in the right direction. Read more…
Exploring the human psyche is one of my greatest passions. In particular, delving into the shadow has long been a key interest. Over the years, I’ve studied many teachings about the shadow and have come to recognize the enormous benefits of bringing it to light. Today I’ll share some reflections on how to see it in yourself.
What is the shadow? In simplest terms, I think of it as the disowned parts of ourselves. These are the parts we repress, deny, and defend against; and so they remain largely unconscious. Becoming aware of the shadow can be painful, at least initially. Along with our hidden gifts, we may also encounter things we aren’t proud of. In preparing to meet our shadow, we must be willing to feel shame as well as a great deal of self-compassion.
So how do you uncover your shadow? Below are several ideas to contemplate. As you sit with them, try to be kind with yourself no matter what you find. Read more…
First…thank you, everyone, for your good wishes. The hub and I are going through a big transition, and your kind words mean so much!
Today was spectacularly beautiful in Beijing. I’m amazed at how easy it is to take simple things for granted—until they are no longer available. After a stretch of pollution-soaked days, clear skies are precious. Yesterday the rain fell and the wind blew…and today? Voilà! A sky so blue you could even see mountains in the distance.
Here’s the view from our apartment several hours ago:
The People’s Republic of China is a country that has long fascinated me. When Dan told me that he had been offered a yearlong fellowship in Beijing, I was shocked. So much so that my legs suddenly felt weak. I lowered to the ground in front of a theater, absorbing the news as movie-goers politely dodged around me.
Luckily my shock wore off, because here we are! Last week’s trip went as smoothly as seventeen hours of travel could go. Our excitement must have been visible; on our layover in Chicago, a woman randomly asked if we were newlyweds. No, we replied, just looking forward to our travels. From Chicago to Beijing we sat in the last row of the enormous aircraft. Sleep was extra difficult to grab because our route took us high above the Arctic Circle, so the sky stayed light for most of the flight. Read more…
Hi all! I apologize for my blogging hiatus but plan to hop back in the saddle soon.
I want to take a moment to introduce you to a wonderful writer and assistant professor of counseling, Dr. Cyndi Briggs. Cyndi coauthored the textbook Women, Girls, and Addiction: Celebrating the Feminine in Counseling Treatment and Recovery. She also writes a fantastic blog called The Sophia Project, which is all about expressing our greatness and living our dreams.
I'm honored to be included in a recent post. Click here to read. Thanks, Cyndi!
I can hardly believe that our time in Vienna is already coming to a close. Dan and I were happy to find out that the annual Sommernachtskonzert (Summer Night Concert) was going to take place during our last week in town. This is a free outdoor concert featuring the world-renowned Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra. Plus, it’s set on the spectacular grounds of Schönbrunn Palace. This year’s concert was also going to include music from Star Wars.
On Tuesday evening we arrived at the palace more than two hours early, knowing the event would attract a crowd of many thousands. The weather was wonderful, and the people-watching was even better. We strolled past a few people sporting Star Wars costumes; others were decked out in their Sunday best; and many, like us, wore casual summer clothes. Settling on a blanket, we waited for the sun to drop and the concert to begin. Read more…
This past decade has transformed me from the inside out. As my twenty-ninth birthday approaches, I feel grateful that some of the big questions surrounding identity, career, and partnership have begun to come into focus. With each surge of growth, life keeps getting better.
Through it all, though, one question has remained unclear: whether or not to have,        or adopt, children. Usually when people ask if I plan to have kids, I respond with an ambivalent “Jury’s out…” to which they reply, “You have time.” Dan and I opened the discussion of having kids some time ago, and we accept that this is a gray area for us both. But recently I realized that I had not really been engaging the idea. The thought        of such a huge change overwhelmed my circuits. On some level, I had just shut        down. Read more…
Regular exercise has long been part of my life. For years, though, there was one thing I deliberately avoided: running. A laundry list of reasons justified this decision: fragile ankles, irritable Achilles tendons, scar tissue complications after foot surgery, and the biggie—flat feet. The risk of injury was just too high.
But inner conflict persisted. I love to run. Really, really love to run, with a passion that supersedes any other form of exercise. Denying myself this source of joy was becoming even more painful than the occasional injury. Read more…
May marks Dan’s and my two-year wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we decided to spend a few days in Venice, Italy. Hoping (in vain) to avoid huge tourist crowds, we planned our trip for the end of April.
Stepping off the overnight train and into Venice last week, groggy after a night of constant interruptions, I was swept into a sensory feast that had no bounds. Here are some samples from the buffet: Read more…
